This blog post almost wrote itself. This is a compilation of comments received following Monday’s post on flirting, unaccredited in case anyone doesn’t want their name used. I think these are generally all things non-comics might say to female comics (I hope — eep!)
Here is the top 11 list of things to do and say to female comics if you don’t want them to ever sleep with you:
1. Don’t know her name even if it’s on the poster.
2. Tell her you don’t think women are funny
3. Say you know a female stand up comic, then have it be a comedic actress older than her grandmother
4. Tell her a joke you know from grade four
5. Tell her not to worry, you like big noses and small boobs, even if none of her jokes are about either
6. Say: ”No need to blow me, thanks is enough”
7. Tell her that you want to take it slow, then three months later turn out to have herpes
8. Have a smoke behind your ear and at least a dozen drinks in you
9. Get into a fight with the smokes behind the ear guy
10. Talk over her set as though she couldn’t possibly have anything interesting to say
11. Say: “Oh, you’re a comic! I’m going to heckle you!” — be the dasher of dreams
First of all, a big shout out to Kathleen McGee, who just recently got representation in L.A. and will be moving down there asap! Kathleen did The Comedy Cabaret (my show I co-produce with Robin Crossman) in July and she’s super awesome and funny!
I have to say, I’ve noticed a trend. Great comedians do our Comedy Cabaret show and then, zoom, suddenly get the chance to move to the States or England: Aaron Berg, Nick Beaton, Steve Scholtz, Bobby Mair. This is at least the fourth time that a comic left Canada within a month of doing the show.
So I have to ask myself, is my show the new launchpad to fame?
Okay, and by “my show” I mean my show with Robin Crossman, whose name I have to keep mentioning since I harp on him all the time to make sure that we both get visibility, which is critically important in this business. Also, I don’t want people to assume that just because he has the “boy parts” that he’s in charge or something, especially not when women make 90 per cent of all consumer decisions (just fyi, kiddoes!).
Wow, I really did sound like Dr. Evil there for a second….must be the word “kiddoes.”
Really, I’m lovely. Really.
At any rate, I will be continuing to monitor how many comedians we get on the show that get their big break thereafter, and will keep you informed.
In the meantime, plug plug plug, we have another super fantastic lineup for our The Comedy Cabaret on August 29, the last Monday of the month! 9pm at The Charlotte Room near King and Peter.
I have a ton of interesting things I want to write about, so will be try to post as often as I can for the next couple of weeks!